Sunrise Ritual 2020, Parker, Colorado

Hello, October:

As the sun rises on another Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I wanted to sit with you for a moment and invite you in. I want to create and hold space for your presence as I take time to reflect on what this month means to so many in our community across the world. For us in America, President Reagan set this month aside for us to give us a place to openly mourn. Around the world on the 15th we will light candles and create a wave of light that burns brightly with hope and sorrow. We can hold both, you know, hope and sorrow. Grief and joy. For me, that is what you represent, October. You represent the sorrow of the loss of so many beautiful babies and the broken hearts of so many grief warriors. Including my own.


You also represent hope – as well as joy. Your colors, your scents, your coziness, and your beauty remind me that I can revel in the joy my favorite season brings, even with the tension of the holiday seasons approaching. I feel that too – the heaviness in my chest as I venture out into the world where my triggers lurk in every store. My Halloween trigger is already set off and more than ever I must work tirelessly at battling through them. Mindfulness and self-care have become paramount once again.

As we honor the sun rise ritual once more on this first day of your month, I humbly ask that you be kind to the grief warrior community this year. We are facing unprecedented struggles with a global pandemic that colors and magnifies everything, especially grief. Be tender to our warriors and allow them the space to honor their beloveds, allow them the knowing that their baby’s story is held lovingly within your calendar pages and that this is their month – to do with which they please. Allow them the space to grieve out loud if that suits the place they’re in on their grief journey or the stillness to do so quietly if that is preferred. Be with us as we are perhaps more willing to share, more willing to advocate for ourselves and our fellow warriors in this month that was lovingly set aside for us yet can also make us weary from the constant trigger battle. Be kind to us, October, as we do our work to continue to heal and cultivate our beautiful scars.

Welcome back, Old Friend. I stand here with open hands, ready to receive what your month will bring me.

Keep Hope Alive,