Dear Golf Event,
I’m not sure where to start. You are the first public event we ever had after the loss of Caleb. We were so scared, all those years ago, because we had never put on such an intricate event before and had no idea what we were doing. We had no idea how much went into making you come together, let alone be successful. We had no idea on that first event when we were raising money to help nonprofits that had helped us when Caleb died what you would become.
That first year was a love letter in and of itself – from Scott, to his son, Caleb. He imagined a grand event to raise money for organizations who came along side of us in our darkest days. It became a way for him to act and DO something after the soul crushing loss of our sweet boy. It was his way of fathering because his fatherhood was split between heaven and earth. It was his way of pleading with this world to not forget what we, and families like us, experience every day in our new normal – making it one more day without our beloveds in our arms. Scott’s vision for an event to honor his son and raise money for organizations helping families like us who carried babies in our hearts rather than our arms was inspirational. I loved seeing his fatherhood in full glory, I loved watching his mind work as he worked tirelessly to lead the way to our first ever Caleb Calvin Woods Memorial Golf Event.
We had no clue what we were doing but we figured it out and made it work. Our friends and family jumped on board and although our first event was small, it was a beautiful day and we felt beyond proud when we presented the organizations with checks for the money we raised that day. It was emotional and beautiful, all the same.
The next year, the most incredible thing happened in the afternoon sky as our event to raise money for our newly founded non-profit, The Beautiful Scar Project, was underway. I received a text from one of the massage therapists who offers chair massages out on the course saying to look up at the sky in a particular direction – if you look closely, you’ll see the face of a baby in the clouds, she told me. I marveled at the picture she sent me because you could truly make out a baby’s face in the clouds. It was as if Caleb himself was checking out the event that bore his name to make sure everyone was having an amazing day out on the course. It melted our hearts and felt incredibly special.
Golf Event, you’ve grown so much from those early years. More sponsors have jumped on board with us and become partners in healing to raise awareness and money for The Beautiful Scar Project’s programs. More golfers have heard about us and joined in to golf and buy out our silent auction and merch table. Our volunteer teams, including the Golf Committee, have grown and even includes high school kids who now know there is support in the world if ever there comes a day when they or their friends need help after the loss of a baby. You’ve created the opportunities for conversations and education about pregnancy and infant loss and emboldened more folks to own their stories and be brave enough to share them. Scott and the Golf Committee’s vision becomes grander each year as they look for ways to provide exceptional value and fun for the golfers and sponsors alike. He is passionate about caring well for everyone involved in our Golf Event and that passion is shared by everyone on our team.
Today would have been our 9th Annual CCW Memorial Golf Event and, rather than being on my way to the golf course, I am sitting here in my PJ’s, drinking coffee in a quiet house as everyone still sleeps. I would rather be rushing out to be at the golf course to hear their door unlock so we could start unloading cars. My heart hurts and my grief is palpable because this year we aren’t and it weighs heavily on me. And Scott. And our entire team, honestly. Because the truth of the matter is, no matter how much work it takes to prepare, no matter how crazed the weeks leading up to it are, no matter how early I have to wake up to beat everyone to the course to get every single second I can before our golfers arrive to set up the event, there is literally no where I’d rather be this morning than at our course, preparing for another epic day. A day where so many people we love come together to sponsor, to golf, and to volunteer to raise money for our tiny but mighty nonprofit, The Beautiful Scar Project.
I want to be hugging the representatives of our sponsors who are unbelievably generous to us each year. I want to be looking for silent auction items that my silent auction chair is saying are missing, or answering 37,000 questions from our volunteers who are setting up registration, or making sure the stupid credit card swipers are actually working because wifi gets weird at golf courses. I want to be setting up our merch table that we introduced last year or making sure all the volunteer snack bags are loaded onto their golf carts. I want to be arguing with the golf course about how many golf carts we get because we are greedy and want them all. 😊 I want to see the first golfers arrive, with their bag tags already on their bags from previous years, and to see our folks who have been with us from the very beginning. I want to see the crazy outfits the golfers come up with or check in on the selfies on social media to see who will win the selfie contest and get their prized selfie stick. I want to drive around the course with my kids and show them how hard their parents have worked to keep Caleb’s memory, and all babies gone too soon, alive. I want to remind my husband to not drink too much and to see our board members enjoying themselves after months of intense preparation. And finally, I want to visit the heckling hole to see our golfers be properly heckled with crazy outfits and shenanigans.
Golf Event, you are my very favorite event that #teamtbsp does and I would do anything to be spending today with you once more.
But.
Because we can’t, I’ll be spending today sifting through memories of you and honoring our sponsors, golfers, and volunteers who make you what you are. You are special; you are loud, and funny, and bigger and better each year thanks to Scott’s vision. I miss you terribly and can’t wait until we (hopefully) reconvene next year.
You are dearly loved, Golf Event. Thank you for being an incredible vehicle for honoring our sacred work of caring for families who have lost babies, and a huge part of themselves. Thank you for being the reason we can provide them with help and hope. Thank you for being a vehicle for healing for Scott and I all these years. Thank you for taking care of Caleb’s memory so beautifully. Thank you for allowing us to honor all the babies.
All our love,
Scott & Kim Woods
Founders, The Beautiful Scar Project